








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 503 | 20% |
| Smokes | 793 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 580 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 692 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,359 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goodfella | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | BorkeyT | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | DonOmar | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Guestzone | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | tiro^ | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | giohm | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | diddmau5 | 40% | 5 |
| #14 | Hjartarson | 32% | 19 |
| #15 | dr. Doctor Man | 31% | 13 |
| #16 | LeXmaskinen | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AceGeir | 83 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | tiro^ | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | KFED | 61 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Guestzone | 51 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hjartarson | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goodfella | +2.62 | 70 | 74 |
| #2 | tiro^ | +1.44 | 60 | 74 |
| #3 | KFED | +1.44 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | DonOmar | +1.28 | 46 | 54 |
| #5 | Guestzone | +0.25 | 68 | 62 |





