








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 446 | 22% |
| Smokes | 486 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 572 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 494 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,604 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morendiz | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | oL Dirty Hoe | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | Hugzy | 100% | 5 |
| #4 | D4V3 | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | ruztyyy | 73% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | tiro^ | 33% | 9 |
| #17 | Buck Angel | 31% | 13 |
| #18 | vedder | 29% | 7 |
| #19 | »→DuRgUr99←« | 25% | 4 |
| #20 | Alejandro ツ | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KFED | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Buck Angel | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | AceGeir | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KFED | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | AceGeir | 37 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | ruztyyy | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Deeyv | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | eMbo | 29 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugzy | +9.19 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | Cyru$ | +5.88 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | axel | +2.46 | 82 | 46 |
| #4 | KFED | +1.79 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | ruztyyy | +1.34 | 49 | 72 |





