








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 104 | 22% |
| Smokes | 126 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 119 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 115 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,941 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guestzone | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Goodfella | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | tiro^ | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | KFED | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | AceGeir | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KFED | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | AceGeir | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | shkr | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | Buck Angel | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | dr. Doctor Man | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AceGeir | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | KFED | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AceGeir | 62 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | tiro^ | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Guestzone | 24 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | KFED | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Buck Angel | 13 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shkr | +5.98 | 64 | 57 |
| #2 | Guestzone | +2.52 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | Goodfella | +1.44 | 51 | 73 |
| #4 | dr. Doctor Man | +0.79 | 82 | 58 |
| #5 | tiro^ | +0.76 | 60 | 71 |





