








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1374 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1071 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1262 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,132 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 823 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hybrid | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Herosz | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | apseens123 | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | ✪mick | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | WoodY [LV] | 53% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Basņja Zaibis | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | Dzarv1s | 47% | 58 |
| #8 | baidies? | 44% | 18 |
| #9 | eKs. | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | Gl1zzY | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WoodY [LV] | 16 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | ✪mick | 16 | 0.0236 |
| #3 | baidies? | 12 | 0.0317 |
| #4 | Gl1zzY | 4 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | eKs. | 4 | 0.0137 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WoodY [LV] | 189 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Dzarv1s | 160 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | baidies? | 81 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪mick | 69 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Herosz | 64 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baidies? | +3.92 | 77 | 75 |
| #2 | hybrid | +2.97 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | eKs. | +1.59 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | Herosz | +1.16 | 61 | 73 |
| #5 | GlicKelele. | +0.96 | 65 | 52 |





