








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 775 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5214 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5730 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5172 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3768 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,802,117 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | GlicKelele. | 53% | 59 |
| #8 | FRAp | 51% | 35 |
| #9 | TheBigGhost | 51% | 59 |
| #10 | Dzarv1s | 51% | 91 |
| #11 | Gl1zzY | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlicKelele. | 20 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | ✪mick | 16 | 0.0260 |
| #3 | Dzarv1s | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | cocaine | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | FRAp | 4 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laura | 790 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | Erregrets | 362 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | kr1x- | 301 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dzarv1s | 241 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | TheBigGhost | 213 | 0.16 | 6 min |





