








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4142 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2607 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2832 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2786 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $378,335 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 562 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \\=DLG=// | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | eKs. | 77% | 26 |
| #3 | Herosz | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | FireTiger | 69% | 26 |
| #5 | Basņja Zaibis | 64% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Basņja Zaibis | 64% | 33 |
| #6 | GlicKelele. | 63% | 16 |
| #7 | sqd_santiz | 61% | 36 |
| #8 | :) | 61% | 33 |
| #9 | apseens123 | 60% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apseens123 | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Basņja Zaibis | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | sqd_santiz | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | :) | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | FireTiger | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apseens123 | 178 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | sqd_santiz | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Herosz | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | \\=DLG=// | 60 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | eKs. | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eKs. | +3.32 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | hybrid | +1.61 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | \\=DLG=// | +0.66 | 41 | 71 |
| #4 | Basņja Zaibis | +0.24 | 68 | 48 |
| #5 | :) | +0.23 | 81 | 63 |





