








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2237 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2414 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1495 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1723 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,572 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flasher | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | WoodY [LV] | 51% | 91 |
| #3 | Gl1zzY | 51% | 93 |
| #4 | baidies? | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | KKrap$i$ | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | baidies? | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | KKrap$i$ | 47% | 19 |
| #6 | GlicKelele. | 47% | 58 |
| #7 | ✪mick | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | nice try man | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlicKelele. | 22 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | WoodY [LV] | 19 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | ✪mick | 15 | 0.0317 |
| #4 | baidies? | 14 | 0.0282 |
| #5 | Gl1zzY | 13 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WoodY [LV] | 262 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gl1zzY | 233 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | GlicKelele. | 168 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Flasher | 111 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | baidies? | 101 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baidies? | +3.92 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | GlicKelele. | +1.99 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | Gl1zzY | +0.86 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | Dzarv1s | +0.56 | 56 | 60 |
| #5 | WoodY [LV] | +0.44 | 67 | 66 |





