








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1155 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1290 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 197 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 952 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $139,998 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thanos | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | MRTN | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Nikk_S | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Jokkatelli | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | ✪ Yuhn | 54% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MRTN | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Nikk_S | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Jokkatelli | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | ✪ Yuhn | 54% | 76 |
| #6 | Eljias | 53% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Yuhn | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Jokkatelli | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Nikk_S | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Eljias | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Thanos | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Yuhn | 190 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jokkatelli | 158 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Eljias | 77 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nikk_S | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Thanos | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thanos | +5.23 | 90 | 72 |
| #2 | Eljias | +2.97 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | Jokkatelli | +2.57 | 84 | 73 |
| #4 | ✪ Yuhn | +0.18 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | MRTN | -1.26 | 85 | 68 |





