








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1162 | 33% |
| Smokes | 770 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 919 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 671 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,329 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brun | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Eljias | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | ✪ Yuhn | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | Huh | 58% | 66 |
| #5 | registrert seksuell fornærmer | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪ Yuhn | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | Huh | 58% | 66 |
| #5 | registrert seksuell fornærmer | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Nikk_S | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | matisselur | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huh | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | ✪ Yuhn | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Nikk_S | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | registrert seksuell fornærmer | 1 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huh | 76 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | ✪ Yuhn | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nikk_S | 23 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Brun | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | registrert seksuell fornærmer | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eljias | +3.43 | 92 | 58 |
| #2 | registrert seksuell fornærmer | +2.42 | 54 | 41 |
| #3 | Thanos | +1.85 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | Huh | +1.71 | 90 | 50 |
| #5 | ✪ Yuhn | +0.33 | 81 | 59 |





