








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 870 | 21% |
| Smokes | 945 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 925 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1399 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,145 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harambe's Brother | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Brun | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | matisselur | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Jokkatelli | 53% | 119 |
| #5 | Eljias | 53% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Eljias | 53% | 127 |
| #6 | ✪ Yuhn | 51% | 125 |
| #7 | Thanos | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | MRTN | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Huh | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Yuhn | 22 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Eljias | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Jokkatelli | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Harambe's Brother | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Brun | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Yuhn | 402 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jokkatelli | 388 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Eljias | 148 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Brun | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Thanos | 58 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huh | +5.18 | 85 | 55 |
| #2 | Thanos | +2.52 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | Jokkatelli | +2.18 | 82 | 73 |
| #4 | Eljias | +2.09 | 88 | 59 |
| #5 | ✪ Yuhn | +0.03 | 84 | 61 |





