








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1040 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




173 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11021 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10748 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9779 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 10399 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,097,445 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5921 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIDENISCREEPY | 60 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | veri | 36 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | jas | 34 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | sethington.gov | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | ✪J8kE. | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIDENISCREEPY | 1198 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #2 | veri | 1009 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #3 | jas | 435 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | 浦原 喜助 | 336 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | sethington.gov | 334 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yb better 69 | +1.34 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | BIDENISCREEPY | +1.24 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | veri | +1.14 | 89 | 59 |
| #4 | 浦原 喜助 | +0.83 | 87 | 59 |
| #5 | sethington.gov | +0.16 | 54 | 60 |





