








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5387 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4288 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1805 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3855 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,299,690 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Comrade Gus | 49% | 76 |
| #7 | sethington.gov | 47% | 110 |
| #8 | veri | 47% | 66 |
| #9 | wEt.gov | 45% | 80 |
| #10 | ✪J8kE. | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yb better 69 | 603 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | big dawg | 505 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | sethington.gov | 451 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | BIDENISCREEPY | 383 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | veri | 339 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yb better 69 | +2.16 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | BIDENISCREEPY | +1.95 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | Maken.MOoo | +1.92 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | veri | +1.62 | 88 | 59 |
| #5 | big dawg | +1.52 | 75 | 54 |





