








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 240 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




203 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10715 | 27% |
| Smokes | 12874 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 9219 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7045 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,859,898 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yb better 69 | 51% | 98 |
| #2 | wEt.gov | 50% | 310 |
| #3 | tyycho.gov | 47% | 99 |
| #4 | jas | 47% | 110 |
| #5 | Steckley.gov | 45% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wEt.gov | 50% | 310 |
| #3 | tyycho.gov | 47% | 99 |
| #4 | jas | 47% | 110 |
| #5 | Steckley.gov | 45% | 87 |
| #6 | Comrade Gus | 41% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wEt.gov | 28 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | tyycho.gov | 28 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | yb better 69 | 17 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Comrade Gus | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Steckley.gov | 9 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wEt.gov | 597 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | yb better 69 | 281 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Steckley.gov | 210 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Comrade Gus | 190 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | jas | 164 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sethington.gov | +2.17 | 58 | 61 |
| #2 | jas | +1.58 | 70 | 50 |
| #3 | yb better 69 | +1.04 | 71 | 61 |
| #4 | wEt.gov | -0.97 | 51 | 44 |
| #5 | tyycho.gov | -1.14 | 77 | 45 |





