








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 502 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7018 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7026 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5773 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4983 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $807,001 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twenty | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | ommeh | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | tabseN | 55% | 56 |
| #4 | HENDO | 54% | 268 |
| #5 | BOT Staniford | 54% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BOT Staniford | 54% | 63 |
| #6 | Randy | 54% | 549 |
| #7 | Ryan Berettas | 52% | 99 |
| #8 | Thirsty | 48% | 206 |
| #9 | Angelsquad | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy | 70 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Thirsty | 27 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Ryan Berettas | 22 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | HENDO | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Angelsquad | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy | 561 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ryan Berettas | 399 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Thirsty | 345 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | ommeh | 269 | 0.33 | 7 min |
| #5 | HENDO | 135 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy | +3.48 | 83 | 45 |
| #2 | tabseN | +1.85 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | Ryan Berettas | +1.04 | 59 | 70 |
| #4 | ommeh | +0.51 | 55 | 72 |
| #5 | BOT Staniford | +0.40 | 64 | 70 |





