








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8186 | 23% |
| Smokes | 10915 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 9990 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6247 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,965,643 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Randy | 57% | 235 |
| #10 | HENDO | 56% | 151 |
| #11 | KtX99 | 54% | 63 |
| #12 | Kyden | 53% | 76 |
| #13 | Vortron | 41% | 82 |





