








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5128 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4986 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4371 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3595 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,866 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy | 57% | 169 |
| #2 | HENDO | 57% | 95 |
| #3 | Twenty | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | KtX99 | 52% | 99 |
| #5 | Thirsty | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy | 57% | 169 |
| #2 | HENDO | 57% | 95 |
| #3 | Twenty | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | KtX99 | 52% | 99 |
| #5 | Thirsty | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | KtX99 | 17 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Thirsty | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | HENDO | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Twenty | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KtX99 | 331 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Randy | 177 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Thirsty | 111 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Twenty | 69 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | HENDO | 47 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy | +3.73 | 83 | 41 |
| #2 | Ryan Berettas | +1.22 | 60 | 73 |
| #3 | Twenty | +0.04 | 74 | 51 |
| #4 | Thirsty | -0.40 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | KtX99 | -0.99 | 58 | 60 |





