








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 741 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3296 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3930 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2417 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3728 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,297,104 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asapppp. ᵉⁿᵈ | 59% | 91 |
| #2 | Defy- | 56% | 270 |
| #3 | Donnj | 55% | 231 |
| #4 | Noo_q | 54% | 241 |
| #5 | rare w | 51% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rare w | 51% | 190 |
| #6 | HeX | 45% | 40 |
| #7 | Tolokki | 44% | 36 |
| #8 | simo | 43% | 30 |
| #9 | tsykii | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tolokki | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Defy- | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Donnj | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | asapppp. ᵉⁿᵈ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | HeX | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy- | 1164 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #2 | rare w | 772 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | Noo_q | 711 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #4 | Donnj | 541 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #5 | asapppp. ᵉⁿᵈ | 272 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy- | +3.22 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | Jenso* | +0.94 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | Donnj | +0.28 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | asapppp. ᵉⁿᵈ | -0.11 | 76 | 73 |
| #5 | Noo_q | -0.32 | 69 | 56 |





