








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3042 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2358 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1102 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2150 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,020,674 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _julermo | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | SkiPPy | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | daJusa | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Noo_q | 53% | 190 |
| #5 | Defy- | 52% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy- | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Jenso* | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | Donnj | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | kasapanos | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | daJusa | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy- | 844 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #2 | Noo_q | 587 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | Jenso* | 546 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | Donnj | 427 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | kasapanos | 115 | 0.15 | 2 min |





