








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2617 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2717 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1823 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2284 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,942 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asapppp. ᵉⁿᵈ | 66% | 56 |
| #2 | Defy- | 56% | 242 |
| #3 | Jenso* | 55% | 231 |
| #4 | Noo_q | 55% | 222 |
| #5 | rare w | 51% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asapppp. ᵉⁿᵈ | 66% | 56 |
| #2 | Defy- | 56% | 242 |
| #3 | Jenso* | 55% | 231 |
| #4 | Noo_q | 55% | 222 |
| #5 | rare w | 51% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asapppp. ᵉⁿᵈ | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Defy- | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | rare w | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Jenso* | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Noo_q | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy- | 1056 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | rare w | 764 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | Noo_q | 675 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | Jenso* | 664 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #5 | asapppp. ᵉⁿᵈ | 150 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy- | +3.25 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | Jenso* | +0.65 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Donnj | +0.46 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | asapppp. ᵉⁿᵈ | -0.35 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | Noo_q | -0.44 | 68 | 57 |





