








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 366 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3110 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2037 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3765 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1313 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,858,437 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeti | 54% | 137 |
| #2 | OneAndOnlyy | 51% | 256 |
| #3 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 51% | 292 |
| #4 | Scrunk | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeti | 54% | 137 |
| #2 | OneAndOnlyy | 51% | 256 |
| #3 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 51% | 292 |
| #4 | Scrunk | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneAndOnlyy | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | yeti | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneAndOnlyy | 914 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #2 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 666 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | Scrunk | 225 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | yeti | 190 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^2Flomo ASCE | +1.12 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | Scrunk | +0.92 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | OneAndOnlyy | +0.12 | 51 | 77 |
| #4 | ANIMUS #keepitmello | -0.24 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | yeti | -1.20 | 53 | 59 |





