








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 830 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1537 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1372 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1292 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,046 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EagleEye<o> | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Boosted Nova | 51% | 123 |
| #3 | H4R5H4 | 49% | 53 |
| #4 | fluffmeister | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | Arnold Shivajinagar | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4R5H4 | 11 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Boosted Nova | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | EagleEye<o> | 3 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | fluffmeister | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | f0rest- | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boosted Nova | 370 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | fluffmeister | 212 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | H4R5H4 | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | f0rest- | 78 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Arnold Shivajinagar | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |





