








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1967 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1536 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1235 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1139 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,560 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4R5H4 | 53% | 55 |
| #2 | SaladAss | 51% | 123 |
| #3 | fluffmeister | 49% | 68 |
| #4 | f0rest- | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | EagleEye<o> | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SaladAss | 51% | 123 |
| #3 | fluffmeister | 49% | 68 |
| #4 | f0rest- | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | EagleEye<o> | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | Arnold Shivajinagar | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaladAss | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | H4R5H4 | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | f0rest- | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | EagleEye<o> | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | fluffmeister | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fluffmeister | 214 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | SaladAss | 204 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | H4R5H4 | 112 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | f0rest- | 88 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Arnold Shivajinagar | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fluffmeister | +3.93 | 72 | 79 |
| #2 | f0rest- | +3.14 | 61 | 74 |
| #3 | Boosted Nova | +2.42 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | H4R5H4 | -0.99 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | Arnold Shivajinagar | -1.53 | 79 | 57 |





