








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2779 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1862 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1788 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2408 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,641,704 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1795 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swamp | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Samme :3 | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | fool | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | uc | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | meow ⌭⃟⃟ | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | uc | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | meow ⌭⃟⃟ | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | Evaluationlooper | 50% | 62 |
| #7 | Kaczer | 49% | 39 |
| #8 | Fizz | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samme :3 | 12 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | fool | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Evaluationlooper | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Swamp | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | meow ⌭⃟⃟ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samme :3 | 111 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | fool | 105 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kaczer | 105 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Swamp | 93 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | meow ⌭⃟⃟ | 65 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaczer | +1.33 | 75 | 56 |
| #2 | Evaluationlooper | +1.18 | 44 | 22 |
| #3 | hampshter | +1.11 | 59 | 50 |
| #4 | fool | +1.09 | 55 | 46 |
| #5 | Samme :3 | +0.66 | 55 | 46 |





