








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 628 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9374 | 19% |
| Smokes | 13187 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 15068 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 12930 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,295,902 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4634 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vigil | 57% | 96 |
| #2 | fool | 56% | 101 |
| #3 | Kommi | 45% | 110 |
| #4 | Swamp | 42% | 62 |
| #5 | Nele.. | 42% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fool | 56% | 101 |
| #3 | Kommi | 45% | 110 |
| #4 | Swamp | 42% | 62 |
| #5 | Nele.. | 42% | 115 |
| #6 | Cucho | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cucho | 18 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | fool | 13 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Kommi | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Vigil | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Swamp | 6 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kommi | 254 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Swamp | 233 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nele.. | 197 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cucho | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | fool | 96 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kommi | +5.20 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | fool | +2.96 | 57 | 49 |
| #3 | Vigil | +1.94 | 47 | 19 |
| #4 | Nele.. | +0.63 | 54 | 62 |
| #5 | meow ⌭⃟⃟ | -1.17 | 32 | 53 |





