








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1611 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1788 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1214 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1279 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,710 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fl1ckS | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | FluffyDalek | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Sigøl | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Nyt0ft | 54% | 56 |
| #5 | Nattzuru | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nyt0ft | 54% | 56 |
| #5 | Nattzuru | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | Fremy | 51% | 92 |
| #7 | Faze Diabeto | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | Adolphin | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fremy | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Sigøl | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Fl1ckS | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Nyt0ft | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | FluffyDalek | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nattzuru | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Fremy | 98 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fl1ckS | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Faze Diabeto | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | FluffyDalek | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fl1ckS | +4.00 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | Faze Diabeto | +1.70 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | G.3 Load | +1.03 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | Nyt0ft | +0.02 | 85 | 44 |
| #5 | Nattzuru | -0.38 | 75 | 57 |





