








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1228 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1749 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1990 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1815 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,119,243 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunders | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Nyt0ft | 52% | 96 |
| #3 | G.3 Load | 51% | 92 |
| #4 | Flodo | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | H_nter | 50% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | G.3 Load | 51% | 92 |
| #4 | Flodo | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | H_nter | 50% | 114 |
| #6 | FluffyDalek | 39% | 18 |
| #7 | Adolphin | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyt0ft | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | H_nter | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Gunders | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | G.3 Load | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Adolphin | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H_nter | 276 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | G.3 Load | 247 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nyt0ft | 77 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Adolphin | 62 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gunders | 56 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G.3 Load | +1.20 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | Nyt0ft | +0.54 | 83 | 45 |
| #3 | Fremy | +0.44 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | FluffyDalek | +0.11 | 76 | 44 |
| #5 | Gunders | -0.28 | 77 | 44 |





