








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1053 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 978 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1177 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,599 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G.3 Load | 54% | 56 |
| #2 | Fremy | 52% | 96 |
| #3 | FluffyDalek | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Dove | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | H_nter | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FluffyDalek | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Dove | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | H_nter | 47% | 43 |
| #6 | Adolphin | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | SKS | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fremy | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Adolphin | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | SKS | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | G.3 Load | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | H_nter | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G.3 Load | 145 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Fremy | 122 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | H_nter | 98 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Adolphin | 66 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | SKS | 66 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKS | +3.10 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | Dove | +1.80 | 93 | 64 |
| #3 | G.3 Load | +1.43 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | Nyt0ft | +0.83 | 83 | 43 |
| #5 | FluffyDalek | +0.51 | 76 | 44 |





