








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2103 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1986 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1937 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1648 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,548,825 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 995 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigøl | 59% | 150 |
| #2 | Nattzuru | 57% | 227 |
| #3 | MyFriend | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | G.3 Load | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Greta Thunfisk | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigøl | 59% | 150 |
| #2 | Nattzuru | 57% | 227 |
| #3 | MyFriend | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | G.3 Load | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Greta Thunfisk | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nattzuru | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Sigøl | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | G.3 Load | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nattzuru | 702 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sigøl | 561 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | G.3 Load | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | MyFriend | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Greta Thunfisk | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greta Thunfisk | +3.08 | 93 | 62 |
| #2 | Faze Diabeto | +2.77 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | G.3 Load | +0.53 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | Sigøl | -0.55 | 44 | 66 |
| #5 | Nattzuru | -0.90 | 70 | 53 |





