








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1041 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6648 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4614 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2305 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4217 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,341,538 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1042 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G.3 Load | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | EΛSY | 55% | 65 |
| #3 | Helvijs Kirk | 55% | 56 |
| #4 | FluffyDalek | 55% | 189 |
| #5 | Florida man | 54% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | POV: Kurt Cobain | +3.44 | 75 | 38 |
| #2 | Fl1ckS | +3.31 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | Helvijs Kirk | +1.94 | 60 | 51 |
| #4 | G.3 Load | +1.64 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | Leefo3k | +1.15 | 79 | 66 |





