








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3579 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4078 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4358 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4464 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $834,673 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | had1 | 62% | 131 |
| #2 | pohica | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Razerinho | 57% | 266 |
| #4 | Fl0rc | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | JetGiraffe | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | anzetovitch | 54% | 133 |
| #7 | pixl | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | fleshy | 52% | 152 |
| #9 | NEKU | 51% | 63 |
| #10 | staRty | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Razerinho | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | fleshy | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | had1 | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | NEKU | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | anzetovitch | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | had1 | 559 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Razerinho | 528 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | fleshy | 346 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | NEKU | 253 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | staRty | 185 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | had1 | +4.63 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | JetGiraffe | +1.96 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | pohica | +1.17 | 60 | 60 |
| #4 | NEKU | +0.98 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | Fl0rc | +0.85 | 75 | 65 |





