








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4861 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4475 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4361 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4264 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,572 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr. hssnd | 62% | 131 |
| #2 | Ojan | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Razerinho | 57% | 191 |
| #4 | Fl0rc | 56% | 85 |
| #5 | fleshy | 56% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fl0rc | 56% | 85 |
| #5 | fleshy | 56% | 210 |
| #6 | anzetovitch | 53% | 55 |
| #7 | staRty | 53% | 139 |
| #8 | NEKU | 51% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Razerinho | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | fleshy | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Fl0rc | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Ojan | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | NEKU | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fleshy | 485 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Razerinho | 406 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | dr. hssnd | 377 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | NEKU | 327 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | staRty | 260 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | had1 | +4.26 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | Ojan | +2.09 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | Fl0rc | +1.12 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | NEKU | -0.29 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | Razerinho | -0.74 | 31 | 60 |





