








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2753 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3306 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3093 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2537 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $887,520 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 801 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ojan | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Fl0rc | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | had1 | 53% | 139 |
| #4 | fleshy | 50% | 262 |
| #5 | dr. hssnd | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fleshy | 50% | 262 |
| #5 | dr. hssnd | 48% | 81 |
| #6 | Razerinho | 48% | 160 |
| #7 | NEKU | 48% | 77 |
| #8 | anzetovitch | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Razerinho | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | fleshy | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | had1 | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Ojan | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | anzetovitch | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | had1 | 623 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | fleshy | 537 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | NEKU | 333 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | Razerinho | 267 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | dr. hssnd | 202 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ojan | +4.77 | 91 | 49 |
| #2 | had1 | +4.22 | 84 | 74 |
| #3 | Fl0rc | +2.37 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | NEKU | +0.32 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | fleshy | -0.35 | 61 | 58 |





