








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 785 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4670 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3927 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 11160 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 10732 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,145,908 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1042 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr. hssnd | 54% | 133 |
| #2 | had1 | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | pohica | 52% | 120 |
| #4 | Razerinho | 51% | 302 |
| #5 | fleshy | 51% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Razerinho | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Stix | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Konfuzed4k | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | JetGiraffe | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | dr. hssnd | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Razerinho | 588 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | dr. hssnd | 357 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | had1 | 273 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Konfuzed4k | 265 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | pixl | 219 | 0.09 | 6 min |





