








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 903 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 261 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 959 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2233 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2646 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2637 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,034,691 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 903 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WoodY [LV] | 60% | 129 |
| #2 | kr1x- | 58% | 192 |
| #3 | Erregrets | 57% | 200 |
| #4 | laura | 55% | 220 |
| #5 | TheBigGhost | 54% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kr1x- | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | TreePie.exe | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | TheBigGhost | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | laura | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | WoodY [LV] | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laura | 1070 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | Erregrets | 430 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | TheBigGhost | 409 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | kr1x- | 404 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | WoodY [LV] | 273 | 0.09 | 7 min |





