








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2524 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2823 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1870 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2509 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $780,017 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Truster | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | MaGgiX | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Kaiser | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | Microman | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | Snibbels™ | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Atominat1on | 54% | 24 |
| #9 | NOname | 53% | 36 |
| #10 | JustAPilot | 52% | 69 |
| #11 | Kenji | 50% | 169 |
| #12 | Darki | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenji | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Kaiser | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | JustAPilot | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | sadge | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Atominat1on | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenji | 328 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | JustAPilot | 241 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Atominat1on | 129 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | sadge | 61 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Truster | 59 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Truster | +3.29 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | sadge | +3.11 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | Kenji | +0.36 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | Microman | +0.26 | 54 | 61 |
| #5 | TheBanana | +0.12 | 66 | 61 |





