










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 913 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Esplay | 20 matches | 1,830 | |
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13228 | 37% |
| Smokes | 10116 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6320 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6445 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,355 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 748 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chirre | 59% | 64 |
| #2 | fRED | 54% | 69 |
| #3 | oddity | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | Ziraah | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | Rocksteady | 51% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retro_rp1 | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Apothysis | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Stinkvard | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Linkan | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Ziraah | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | David | +3.31 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | Ziraah | +3.30 | 94 | 56 |
| #3 | fRED | +2.55 | 87 | 66 |
| #4 | Apothysis | +2.28 | 75 | 80 |
| #5 | Rocksteady | +1.51 | 74 | 83 |





