








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1085 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 1,671 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4930 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6107 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5347 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4758 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,743 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 734 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinkvard | 51% | 97 |
| #2 | Marre | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | Apothysis | 48% | 117 |
| #4 | Chubby Guerrero!!! | 48% | 117 |
| #5 | T1mBa0 | 45% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T1mBa0 | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Linkan | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Stinkvard | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Apothysis | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Chubby Guerrero!!! | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocksteady | +3.16 | 71 | 85 |
| #2 | fRED | +3.07 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | Chubby Guerrero!!! | +2.47 | 54 | 57 |
| #4 | Stinkvard | +1.97 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | Apothysis | +1.96 | 74 | 78 |





