








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1731 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1375 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1890 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1884 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,310 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary the Snail | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Mama ich hab Angst | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Τωαγζ | 52% | 91 |
| #5 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Τωαγζ | 52% | 91 |
| #5 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 50% | 36 |
| #6 | Kakashi | 49% | 37 |
| #7 | RaffaElo® | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Kakashi | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | RaffaElo® | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Τωαγζ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Τωαγζ | 157 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Gary the Snail | 91 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kakashi | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 50 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mama ich hab Angst | +2.59 | 73 | 39 |
| #2 | PussySl4y3r2010 | +2.14 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | El Killer Bunny #Pimpele SUCKS | +0.54 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | Gary the Snail | +0.48 | 51 | 71 |
| #5 | Kakashi | +0.11 | 43 | 64 |





