








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1122 | 33% |
| Smokes | 786 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 872 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,185 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JanS | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | @LeX | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | J3nsSt0lt3nb3rg1959 | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | El Killer Bunny #Pimpele SUCKS | 52% | 91 |
| #5 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | El Killer Bunny #Pimpele SUCKS | 52% | 91 |
| #5 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | Gary the Snail | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | Kakashi | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | RaffaElo® | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakashi | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | El Killer Bunny #Pimpele SUCKS | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Killer Bunny #Pimpele SUCKS | 323 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | J3nsSt0lt3nb3rg1959 | 59 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kakashi | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gary the Snail | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 19 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J3nsSt0lt3nb3rg1959 | +2.75 | 57 | 68 |
| #2 | PussySl4y3r2010 | +2.68 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | JanS | +1.43 | 47 | 63 |
| #4 | El Killer Bunny #Pimpele SUCKS | +0.83 | 70 | 73 |
| #5 | Kakashi | +0.62 | 45 | 67 |





