








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 943 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 411 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3370 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3883 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4975 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3151 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,442,850 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 680 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Skander | 56% | 48 |
| #8 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 53% | 81 |
| #9 | LarryisWashed | 45% | 97 |
| #10 | Sn3aky | 45% | 93 |
| #11 | BluBalsBBy69 | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 48 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | LarryisWashed | 21 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Carbon | 18 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | shoeler | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | TheDinkster | 13 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 527 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Carbon | 344 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | TheDinkster | 266 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | shoeler | 218 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 210 | 0.13 | 6 min |





