








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 396 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3721 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4232 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4936 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4160 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,642,940 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2007 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jester | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | KennyD | 62% | 60 |
| #3 | Azarill | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | M.A.D.D. | 54% | 155 |
| #5 | neverfive666 | 54% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 52% | 188 |
| #9 | colaguy2011 | 51% | 238 |
| #10 | Morizon | 51% | 108 |
| #11 | sirkz | 48% | 125 |
| #12 | wessywes | 46% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neverfive666 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | wessywes | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | sirkz | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lofty | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neverfive666 | 1439 | 0.26 | 42 min |
| #2 | colaguy2011 | 1322 | 0.26 | 36 min |
| #3 | Lofty | 645 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #4 | wessywes | 500 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #5 | koch666 | 411 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kungen | +1.38 | 78 | 52 |
| #2 | koch666 | +1.34 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | Jester | +0.76 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | colaguy2011 | +0.51 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | wessywes | +0.49 | 83 | 65 |





