








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 422 matches | ||
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12248 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8723 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8385 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6884 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,259,777 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | nihilist | 53% | 79 |
| #8 | DeagZilla | 53% | 64 |
| #9 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 53% | 410 |
| #10 | Azarill | 51% | 230 |
| #11 | sirkz | 51% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colaguy2011 | 1419 | 0.30 | 40 min |
| #2 | koch666 | 1159 | 0.09 | 32 min |
| #3 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 682 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #4 | Azarill | 619 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | Kungen | 568 | 0.10 | 14 min |





