










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 586 matches | ||
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12504 | 31% |
| Smokes | 13540 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5349 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 9299 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,512,149 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 604 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lofty | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | KennyD | 55% | 224 |
| #3 | neverfive666 | 54% | 216 |
| #4 | M.A.D.D. | 54% | 416 |
| #5 | koch666 | 53% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | wessywes | 52% | 338 |
| #9 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 51% | 142 |
| #10 | Azarill | 51% | 72 |
| #11 | Kungen | 51% | 238 |
| #12 | Morizon | 51% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wessywes | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | M.A.D.D. | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | neverfive666 | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Kungen | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | sirkz | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wessywes | 1678 | 0.23 | 46 min |
| #2 | neverfive666 | 1301 | 0.27 | 39 min |
| #3 | Morizon | 838 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #4 | M.A.D.D. | 715 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #5 | koch666 | 457 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koch666 | +1.81 | 72 | 70 |
| #2 | m0sifer | +1.18 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | wessywes | +0.97 | 82 | 65 |
| #4 | colaguy2011 | +0.56 | 56 | 72 |
| #5 | neverfive666 | +0.32 | 65 | 74 |





