








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 369 matches | ||
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4804 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6061 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6826 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6938 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,002,067 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1061 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyD | 57% | 212 |
| #2 | colaguy2011 | 54% | 416 |
| #3 | Kungen | 54% | 155 |
| #4 | wessywes | 52% | 315 |
| #5 | Morizon | 51% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kungen | 54% | 155 |
| #4 | wessywes | 52% | 315 |
| #5 | Morizon | 51% | 224 |
| #6 | Yoven | 50% | 70 |
| #7 | Hotdogman | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wessywes | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | colaguy2011 | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Yoven | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | KennyD | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Kungen | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colaguy2011 | 1959 | 0.22 | 49 min |
| #2 | wessywes | 1532 | 0.23 | 42 min |
| #3 | Morizon | 755 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #4 | KennyD | 280 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kungen | 273 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wessywes | +1.00 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Yoven | +0.91 | 58 | 64 |
| #3 | colaguy2011 | +0.72 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | M.A.D.D. | +0.39 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | Kungen | +0.32 | 75 | 54 |





