








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2741 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3779 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2175 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2583 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,024 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jester | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | colaguy2011 | 62% | 42 |
| #3 | M.A.D.D. | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 59% | 80 |
| #5 | koch666 | 54% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kungen | 52% | 178 |
| #8 | Azarill | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | sirkz | 45% | 80 |
| #10 | Jyse | 44% | 18 |
| #11 | D0-Z1ng.0ff | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kungen | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | neverfive666 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Mr Manchello 💤💤💤 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | sirkz | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Jester | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neverfive666 | 692 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #2 | Kungen | 375 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | colaguy2011 | 195 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | sirkz | 178 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | koch666 | 176 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koch666 | +1.76 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Jester | +1.13 | 81 | 50 |
| #3 | colaguy2011 | +0.66 | 55 | 72 |
| #4 | Kungen | +0.58 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | neverfive666 | +0.47 | 66 | 74 |





