








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1802 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5669 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2896 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3523 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,890,909 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 641 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Migs | 60% | 85 |
| #2 | solo | 60% | 152 |
| #3 | Glooby | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | Lack of Thumbs | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | DamCaddy | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lack of Thumbs | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | DamCaddy | 56% | 52 |
| #6 | Frud | 55% | 51 |
| #7 | Krazyy Kevin | 50% | 32 |
| #8 | uripls | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solo | 20 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Glooby | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Migs | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Frud | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | DamCaddy | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solo | 379 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Glooby | 270 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | Migs | 250 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | DamCaddy | 101 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | uripls | 92 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Migs | +3.08 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Krazyy Kevin | +2.60 | 88 | 57 |
| #3 | solo | +2.05 | 75 | 45 |
| #4 | DamCaddy | +1.50 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | Glooby | +1.43 | 64 | 66 |





