








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1290 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2227 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2392 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1322 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,363,313 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 肛門拳 | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | solo | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | bonky | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Moth.E | 55% | 51 |
| #5 | Horchata Papi | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lack of Thumbs | 52% | 197 |
| #8 | Migs | 51% | 88 |
| #9 | gabesdahbabe | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | maikki | 38% | 101 |
| #11 | carohockey14 | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 肛門拳 | 9 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Lack of Thumbs | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | maikki | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Moth.E | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Migs | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lack of Thumbs | 333 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | maikki | 306 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Migs | 284 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | carohockey14 | 135 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #5 | 肛門拳 | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 肛門拳 | +4.51 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | Migs | +3.49 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | Glooby | +3.33 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | Lack of Thumbs | +0.38 | 76 | 45 |
| #5 | maikki | +0.08 | 69 | 69 |





