








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3721 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4179 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4382 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4106 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $854,507 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2636 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pacific shawty | 68% | 38 |
| #2 | jus2 | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | milk | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | subl!me | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | milk | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | subl!me | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | Moth.E | 50% | 54 |
| #7 | DamCaddy | 49% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jus2 | 9 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | DamCaddy | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Moth.E | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | pacific shawty | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | subl!me | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 216 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #2 | DamCaddy | 180 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | milk | 167 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | subl!me | 107 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | pacific shawty | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jus2 | +4.20 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | LS49AG952NNXZA | +2.33 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | uripls | +1.23 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | DamCaddy | +1.08 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | subl!me | +0.64 | 76 | 61 |





