








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3142 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2811 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2565 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2538 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,116,221 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dimitri | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | Modifact | 49% | 83 |
| #3 | Dilly | 48% | 188 |
| #4 | Burd Pauperranger | 45% | 96 |
| #5 | Nef | 43% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dilly | 48% | 188 |
| #4 | Burd Pauperranger | 45% | 96 |
| #5 | Nef | 43% | 119 |
| #6 | NietKoel#. | 42% | 64 |
| #7 | Zwijnzak#. | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nef | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Burd Pauperranger | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Dilly | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Modifact | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | NietKoel#. | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dilly | 324 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | Zwijnzak#. | 232 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Modifact | 137 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dimitri | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | NietKoel#. | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nef | +1.78 | 78 | 46 |
| #2 | Dilly | +1.18 | 61 | 64 |
| #3 | Modifact | +0.29 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | Burd Pauperranger | -0.59 | 40 | 60 |
| #5 | Rns#. | -0.67 | 73 | 62 |





