








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1649 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1707 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2572 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3118 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,011,793 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 486 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trent Tripp | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | humblie | 56% | 116 |
| #3 | Primo | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | Sauf une fois au chalet | 51% | 118 |
| #5 | ffirG | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Johnny Sins | 43% | 37 |
| #7 | Phromage | 39% | 315 |
| #8 | SLARO | 34% | 59 |
| #9 | iRageQuit | 33% | 75 |
| #10 | Buffalo Mike | 29% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phromage | 22 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Sauf une fois au chalet | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | humblie | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Johnny Sins | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | iRageQuit | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phromage | 486 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | ffirG | 133 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | humblie | 124 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | iRageQuit | 97 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Trent Tripp | 93 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | humblie | +4.81 | 87 | 48 |
| #2 | Trent Tripp | +1.89 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | ffirG | +0.86 | 59 | 62 |
| #4 | Primo | +0.79 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | Worst_Nightmare | +0.46 | 66 | 48 |





